This is a follow-up to the original post below. Under the rules of the settlement, I could have Parker on Wednesday nights I did not work while I continued to work second shift. The letter below sent by Paula's attorney Landon Dufoe to my attorney is dated October 31, 2017. Our custody settlement was finalized July 5, 2017. There are 17 Wednesdays between and including those dates. I used PTO for six Wednesdays. Text messages and the list of days I used PTO provided to me by my manager back me up. I had two other Wednesdays during my two weeks of vacation time with Parker. Text messages confirm this. Paula had two Wednesdays during her two weeks of vacation time with Parker. Text messages confirm this.
So far, this accounts for 10 of the 17 Wednesdays. Text messages from Paula confirm that she had Parker on four more Wednesdays. That leaves three Wednesdays where it is possible I lied to Paula about taking the night off and left Parker with my mom against the rules of the settlement. This includes the 11th where Paula and her attorney pretend I was caught in the act. To quote Landon Dufoe from his letter: Chad has been telling Paula that he is taking Wednesdays off from work in order to keep Parker but then still going to work and having Parker stay with his mother, in direct violation of the Stipulation. This never happened once much less multiple times as "Wednesdays" asserts. Landon Dufoe threatened a show cause order against me based on a handful of lies told to him by his client with no supporting evidence beyond a photo of my car parked at Frontier which does nothing to support their false claims.
Of course, there is no text on those dates where I tell Paula I had the night off when I did not and I was working on those dates. One of those dates is October 18th, a week after my alleged plot to deceive Paula was foiled. It would be rather gutsy of me to attempt the same ruse a week after I got caught if I had actually been caught breaking the rules. Also, Paula did not accuse me of lying about taking a Wednesday or Wednesdays off until three weeks later through her attorney in the letter he sent to my attorney.
Again, she did not call me out in the moment for lying to her about taking the 11th off and the only evidence she and her attorney provided in support of their claim was a photo of my car in the Frontier parking lot without a timestamp. No text message from me saying I had the night off. Even if I had deleted any such text on my end, she would still have proof that I had sent it to her. No claims I told her over the phone or phone records showing that I had, at the very least, called her that day especially when I rarely ever called and spoke to her on the phone. If Paula and her attorney are going to accuse me of lying and telling her I had the night off, wouldn't it make sense as part of their claim to share how I told her I had the night off? Did I text, call, or use a carrier pigeon? Perhaps, I hired a skywriter.
Once more, Paula had the presence of mind to take a photo of my car in the parking lot on the night I allegedly lied about taking off (three weeks before she would use her weak evidence against me) but she did not bother to call me out in the moment. She does not provide a copy of any text message where I lied about having the night off or provide phone records that I called her that day. If I had told her I had the night off, why did she expect Parker to be in daycare? I'm not going to lie about taking the night off in order to leave him with my mother and bring him to daycare anyway. That makes no sense. She went there because I never told her I had the night off and she wrongly expected I would bring him there rather than have her pick him up from my mother as I'm allowed to do. She deliberately lied because she did not get her way and her attorney threatened me based on her lies. And her lies cost me additional attorney fees.
In October 2017, Paula's attorney Landon Dufoe sent a letter to my attorney threatening to pursue a show cause order against me based on several false claims made against me by Paula. Among these claims is that I had told Paula on multiple occasions that I had Wednesday night off, left Parker in my mom's care, and went to work anyway in violation of our custody settlement.
Under the settlement, I could have Parker on Wednesday nights that I did not work while I was still on second shift at Frontier. Otherwise, Paula had him on those nights.
On Wednesday, October, 11, 2017, I left Parker in my mom's care and went to work. I never told Paula that I had the night off. Under the rules of the settlement, each of us is responsible for picking Parker up from the other party at the start of our time with him. I was not required to bring him to Frontier in the afternoon. I only ever did so as a courtesy to Paula when she lived in Belle Plaine so that she would not have to drive from Norway to Cedar Rapids to Belle Plaine after work. However, she now lived in Cedar Rapids and it made no sense to take Parker to Frontier with me when Paula would be returning to Cedar Rapids especially when Parker preferred to stay with my mom. Also, Paula was already making Parker and I drive to and from Norway in the morning rather than spare us the 40 mile round trip and drop him off with me before she headed to work.
Since I did not tell Paula that I had the night off, she rightfully expected to get him and mistakenly believed he would be in daycare. When she discovered he was not there, she text me to ask about his whereabouts. I did not respond because I was on the clock and I did not have my phone on me. She then text my mother and when my mother confirmed that Parker was with her, Paula incorrectly argued that Parker was not allowed to be with my mom. Again, it is Paula's responsibility to pick him up from us. Paula seemed to believe it was my responsibility to deliver Parker to her when my time with him ended but that she did not share the same responsibility. This is rather absurd and goes against how things had worked over the previous two years.
A back and forth between Paula and my mother ensued and Paula's brother Brad eventually joined in. I had no idea this dispute was taking place until my lunch break when I discovered that Brad had messaged me on Facebook to threaten that things would not go well for me if I continued break the rules of the settlement. He also instructed me to watch what my mom says to his sister. I informed Brad that I had not broken the rules and I called him out for his hypocrisy for expecting me to babysit my mom while he refused to hold Paula accountable for her behavior towards me. He responded by lying about what I had said, lying about me being at fault for the demise of my relationship with Paula, and attempting to shame me over an irrelevant matter before blocking me on Facebook so that I could not respond.
The first photo above includes the portion of Landon Dufoe's letter where he falsely accuses me of lying about taking Wednesday nights off. He quoted the portion of the settlement that grants me the right to have Parker on Wednesday nights I do not work and I am present with him. It does not say that I am required to deliver Parker to Paula when my allotted time with him ends. Once again, both of us are responsible for picking him up from the other party at the start of our time. It does not work any other way. Suppose I was required to deliver him to her at the start of her time. Could she be located anywhere and I would still be expected to deliver him to her? And depending on where I might need to be after I delivered him, I would likely need to leave for her location before my time has concluded. Therefore, the idea that either of us must bring him to the other party at the start of their time is impractical and unfair.
The second photo is a picture of my car in the Frontier parking lot which was offered as proof of my alleged deception. The absurdity here is that the picture does not have a timestamp that indicates when the picture was taken. That said, I will stipulate that Paula took the picture on Wednesday, October 11, 2017. So what? Since I never told her I had the night off, my car is exactly where it should be.
The third photo lists all of days I used PTO. Among the days listed are six Wednesdays. The fourth photo includes all of the text messages I sent to Paula informing her that I had those nights off. There is no such message on the eleventh. There are only three texts between us that day. The first is her asking about Parker's whereabouts which I did not answer for reasons already given. Later, she asks why Parker was with my mom and I told her because I left him there and that is where the conversation ends. She does not claim that I broke the rules by leaving him with my mother nor does she claim that I lied about having the night off which everyone should expect her to do if she had caught me in a lie. She also did not call me out for lying in her text conversation with my mother. It makes no sense to accuse me of lying about taking the night off three weeks later but not do so in the moment. She knew I never told her I had the night off. She wrongly believed I was obligated to bring him to her and when she did not get her way, she lied about what I had done.
While it should be quite obvious that I did nothing wrong and Paula knowingly lied about my actions to cause me harm, what makes this entire saga even more ridiculous is to consider what if. If I wanted to lie about taking a Wednesday night off, the plot cannot work without me telling Paula that I have the night off. Otherwise, Paula would expect to get him and pick him up from daycare or my mother. Of course, there is no such text where I tell her I have the night off. That said, suppose I told her I had the night off over the phone. If I had done that, why would she look for him in daycare and ask my mom and I about his whereabouts when she would already "know" that I had him?
If we pretend I told her I had the night off and she bought it, I would still have to avoid being caught by her at work. If I want to avoid being caught, it does not make sense to use my car and park where she is likely to see it. There are also only two ways into the building. One way would require me to walk through the department she works in. The other leads to my department in one direction and the cafeteria in the other direction. I typically arrived to work early and stayed in the cafeteria until it was time to clock in. I would have to avoid doing that because Paula often came into the cafeteria around that time. There is a hallway that leads from the cafeteria to her department. I would basically need to enter the building as a late as possible and head directly to the time clock to limit my chances of being caught. Finally, you have to ask what I gain by doing this at all? Since I do not get to actually spend more time with my son, how do I benefit from doing any of this? There is nothing to gain beyond avoiding a trip to Norway in the morning which is not worth the risk. Paula lied, had her attorney threaten me based on those lies, and cost me money in additional attorney fees for involving my attorney in the matter. There is no credible defense for her behavior. There never is.
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