THE UNMASKING

After a decade of emotional, mental, and financial abuse that continues to this day, I have decided to share my side of the story regarding Paula. I really have no expectations that anyone will ever hold her accountable. I certainly do not expect her to do the right thing. Paula, with assistance from the family court system, has deliberately caused me irreparable harm without the slightest justification.

This blog almost certainly fails to do my story the justice it deserves. But I'm tired of remaining silent. Taking the high road has accomplished nothing. I have lost ten years to anxiety, stress, and financial debt because I had a child with the wrong person. There are no lies she and her flying monkeys can tell about me that could possibly excuse her actions and behavior towards me. I did her no harm. Ever. There is no emotional, mental, physical, verbal, or financial abuse on my part and there are no emails, text messages, recordings, documents, or any piece of evidence to support any such claim. There is no infidelity on my part. I was completely faithful to her. There is nothing she can use against me and her own words are my best defense against any such claim. In fact, she admitted being at fault for the end our relationship while proposing to me over text messages more than year and a half after our relationship ended.

When Paula left for Wisconsin ten years ago, I was the best boyfriend ever (her words) and she wanted a ring. When she returned home three weeks later, there was suddenly nothing good about me. She was running me down over matters that were neither fair or true and had never been discussed all while hiding and lying about a relationship with a married man she met while away. There is nothing I did that explains or justifies her behavior then or since. Anyone that dares to defend Paula has to lie to absolve her and find fault with me. Any such person would demonstrate greater integrity if they just admit they do not care what she has done because it was not done to them and/or because she is family.

If anyone that cares about Paula reads this blog and becomes angry with me, that says more about you than it does me. Some of you have enabled her. Some of you have lied to me and about me to protect her. I have told the truth. I did nothing to deserve the circumstances put upon me the last ten years. She continues to make my life difficult. No one that dares to defend or excuse Paula's actions towards me would do the same if I were telling my story about a stranger. And I doubt anyone would keep it to themselves for as long as I have if it were done to them. I'm not going to continue to suffer the consequences of Paula's indefensible behavior towards me without finally standing up for myself. I have had enough.

Again, I have lost ten years to anxiety, stress, and financial debt because Paula would not let me walk away from our relationship (which she deliberately destroyed) with a 50-50 custody settlement after agreeing to a similar deal with her ex-husband a year earlier. Why? Because I sued for a 50-50 settlement after she had repeatedly threatened me over our son. That's it. That's her excuse for everything she has done to me. 

Again, I have no expectations that Paula will ever suffer any consequences for the harm she has caused me and I do not believe she is capable of holding herself accountable for her own actions. Ultimately, I just want to tell my story.  Paula should not get to hide from the truth indefinitely. If nothing else, making her behavior known to her family, friends, peers, children, and many boyfriends may be punishment enough.

Of course, I expect Paula and her enablers to lie about me and deny the claims I have made in this blog. Let them. They have nothing. My relationship and family with Paula meant everything to me. I did not and would not have done anything to jeopardize it and I would have done my best to solve any problems in our relationship if provided the opportunity. The things Paula used against me to burn our relationship to the ground were dishonest and unfair. I was blindsided. 

I eventually realized at some point over the past ten years that our relationship never actually mattered to her. It was transactional. My purpose was to feed her ego only. I was guaranteed to fail. No one who genuinely ever cared about another person could do what Paula has done to me. In the span of less than a month, she went from wanting to marry me to hating me when I had done nothing to instigate her sudden and devastating turn against me.

The truth is I ignored or shrugged off many red flags during our relationship. I did not realize until after the relationship ended that I had spent much of the relationship walking on egg shells. Still, I would have never guessed the entire relationship was a lie on her end or predicted that it would end suddenly with so much dishonesty and cruelty or that Paula would use our son to continue to abuse me emotionally, mentally, and financially for ten years and counting. I did not see behind her mask until it was too late.