SUPPOSE

Suppose I told her she was the best girlfriend ever.

Suppose I made it clear on a near daily basis over two months that I wanted us to be married.

Suppose I went out of state for three weeks and cheated on her with a married woman.

Suppose, after returning home, I was emotionally and mentally abusive and treated her like she was the worst thing that ever happened to me.

Suppose I snuck out of the house before 5AM two days after returning home and did not share where I had gone.

Suppose I ignored her or ran her down for nearly two weeks over lies until I pushed her out of the house because I needed a break from our relationship.

Suppose, after she left the house, I asserted authority over our son and repeatedly threatened her when she would not play by my lopsided rules.

Suppose I continued to socialize with my married friend, introduced her to my mother, and brought her along for the ride when I went to pick up my son from his mother.

Suppose I threatened to call the police when she would not hand over our son on her day.

Suppose I threatened to pursue kidnapping charges when she would not hand over our son on five minutes notice after I was released from a three day psych hold.

Suppose I continued to threaten her over our son including pursuing full custody because she refused to hand over our son on a day I traded to her and after I had received my end of the trade.

Suppose she filed a custody suit to protect herself against my threats regarding our son.

Suppose she only wanted 50-50 everything including equal time and no child support for both parties and I refused even after agreeing to a similar arrangement in my divorce from my ex-wife regarding our two daughters only months earlier.

Suppose the judge that issued the temporary order took time away from her and ordered her to pay me child support as our case continued towards trial.

Suppose, after being favored in the temporary ruling, I repeatedly threatened to deny her visitation against the rules when she refused to agree to trade dates with our son to accommodate my social plans.

Suppose I was dating a fourth different woman in three months since our relationship ended.

Suppose, to avoid further debt, she conceded on primary care status, agreed to pay child support, and even offered to pay for all medical costs not covered by insurance if I gave her equal time and I refused.

Suppose I proposed to her in a text message, told her I loved and missed her, that she was good to me and my two daughters, and I wished I realized what I had with her.

Suppose I took responsibility for the end of our relationship and blamed it on falling into a rut which I could not escape.

Suppose, one week later, I threatened to pursue full custody if she did not agree to my settlement offer.

Suppose I refused to agree to 50-50 because her mother had rightly criticized me for cheating on her in text messages she sent nearly two years earlier even though I had asked her mother to watch our son 3-4 nights per month over the subsequent two years when I had social plans.

Suppose I refused to agree to shared care because her mother smokes even though I had asked her mother to watch our son 3-4 nights per month over the previous two years when I had social plans.

Suppose I refused to agree to shared care because I claimed my son needed to spend more time with his much older half-sisters than their mother in order to bond.

Suppose I refused to agree to shared care because I claimed that a 50-50 schedule would be too much back and forth for our son even though a 50-50 schedule may be designed to include the same number of go-betweens as the schedule I proposed. 

Suppose the schedule we operated under for the past two years had more go-betweens than a 50-50 schedule and I said nothing.

Suppose our son had spent 70% of his time at her home the previous two years because I had forfeited so much of my time for my social life.

Suppose I did the opposite of what you would expect me to do if I actually valued my reasons for denying her shared care.

Suppose the trial judge told her attorney in chambers that he was not inclined to grant her equal overnights while she worked second shift before hearing any evidence in the case.

Suppose, at trial, I proposed a settlement offer similar to others I had previously rejected that gave her a path to equal overnights.

Suppose, months later, my attorney and I threatened to pursue a show cause order against her by falsely claiming she had broken the settlement rules, falsely claiming she was late on child support payments, and falsely claiming child abuse due to minor bruises on our son's body that he acquired at my home.

Suppose I threatened to make a false claim of parental alienation because she refused to bring him to my workplace when she was not required to do so.

Suppose I claimed she was trying to turn him into a girl because she dressed him in boys' stretchy pants when he was two, she had a girls' bike parked in her yard for his temporary use, and she gave him purple gloves to use during the winter after he lost his previous pair.

Suppose I had forgot him in the car when I arrived for work and he was found thirty minutes later by a daycare worker.

Suppose I told her my plans with our son fell through for my vacation week with him and I gave her a free week with our son so that I could participate in RAGBRAI with my sixth girlfriend in three years and I did not tell her my true plans.

Suppose, less than a month later, I was dating and spending my nights with a new woman while still living at the home of my sixth girlfriend.

Suppose, less than a month later, I agreed to rent a house with the new woman.

Suppose she proposed schedule changes that would limit the number of go-betweens and I rejected her proposal because she had always denied my trade requests even though she was providing me an opportunity to ask for changes I desired.

Suppose I never picked up our son on my night and when I was made aware of it, my initial excuse was that I was so busy at work that I must have forgot before claiming, three days later, that I had forgot to ask if she could keep him because I was going out of town the next morning.

Suppose we had another mediation and she requested 50-50 everything again and I refused to negotiate directly and in good faith and denied her request without explanation or offering a counterproposal. 

Suppose, as a result of my original refusal to agree to a 50-50 settlement, she went from no debt to 30K in debt in two years.

Suppose, as a result of my actions, she has spent the past seven years between 20K and 30K in debt.

Suppose, as a result of my actions, she has been dealing with persistent stress and anxiety for the past nine years.

Suppose, as a result of my actions, she has paid me over 40K in child support and our son was at her home greater than a year more in real time during the past nine years.

Suppose I have denied her a letter of satisfaction giving her credit $4335 in child support paid directly to me for over a year now even after she provided me with the documentation I requested proving her claim of payment.  

Suppose I had been with at least nine different women in nine years and lived with three of them during a one year period.

Suppose I have forfeited approximately 150 overnights with my son in nine years.

Suppose I have forfeited nine days with my son in June/July 2024 for three personal trips and I never communicated my plans with her.

Suppose I left my son in the care of my 17 year-old daughter and her live-in boyfriend for eight consecutive overnights while I spent those nights at the home of my ninth girlfriend in nine years.

Suppose she has supporting evidence that proves many of these allegations.

Suppose she never did me any harm ever.

Suppose I am guilty of the actions and behavior described above, what kind of person am I?

Suppose you enabled, ignored, and/or excused my actions and behavior because I am family or a friend, what kind of person are you?